


one step forward, one step back

by Tattered



Series: Love Is Transcendent [2]
Category: Korean Drama, 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神 - 도깨비 | Goblin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Reincarnation, Trauma, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tattered/pseuds/Tattered
Summary: [After Series] It was the first day of their married life, all over again.Or, Ji Eun Tak being stuck in crossroads.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Feels. Feels. Feels.
> 
> When your feelings bug you in the middle of reviewing for school, there's no stopping.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who supported the first installment of this series. You're all amazing. (sends virtual hug from Mr. Buckwheat) I hope you enjoy this one too.

The first thing she saw was the expanse of his chest, lightly moving against her cheek. With her ear against his chest, she silently listened to the slight but endless thumping, resonating against her being. He smelled like musk and winter, and even in her overwhelming joy, she could not loosen the tight grip enveloping her own heart.

She raised her head, her eyes meeting the angle of his jaw. Small breaths escaped from his slightly open mouth. His face appeared gentle against the curtain of his curls. His eyes were still beneath the shelter of his eyelids, quiet in the absence of dreams. He looked so peaceful, so foreign from the nights she would catch him sweating and moaning in his nightmares.

So Min – still Eun Tak for the goblin and his bride, could hold the tear that slid from the corner of her eye.

A small hand reached for the smooth cheek of the man, savoring the silk of his skin. She carefully explored the angles and curves of his features, as if imprinting his face in muscle memory, or relearning an old habit. She wove her hands to his hair, feeling the softness of its waves. He has always been so beautiful in her eyes – a tragically beautiful man.

A strong arm tightened its hold against her back, pulling her closer to the blanket-covered body. Uneven eyes slowly opened, and another tear fell from the corner of the woman’s eye.

The man gave her one look, understanding evident in his face. He cupped her face, dropping a kiss on the medial corner of her right eye.

It’s their first day being husband and wife, but it felt like the saddest day of their lives.

\--

They cooked breakfast together. He heated a bit of meat from the night’s feast, while she prepared the rice and eggs. She added a pinch of salt, letting it flavor the rice. The egg yolks remained whole even after frying. The coffee brewed, permeating the kitchen air. When they finished preparing, they sat beside each other (as if any distance could suddenly cause the other to disappear.

They ate quietly, shoulders brushing with every move. They didn’t mind. She rested a hand on his knee. His hands brushed her hair and her shoulder. She rested her head against his after her last bite, her appetite poorer than usual. He sipped his coffee, his free hand now gripping her shoulder tight.

(He knew she wouldn’t break, but he would if he didn’t hold her.)

\--

They planned to go on a honeymoon the next day, because Eun Tak’s work couldn’t let her go just yet. She dressed with care. She sprayed perfume on her wrist and touched it to her neck. She wore a very simple set of white pearls – Kim Shin’s gift from graduating with honors in university. She took one look in the mirror, then dropping her glance at her wedding band – a thin but intricately woven band of white gold and dotted diamonds. She brushed her thumb against it and took a deep breath.

Kim Shin was waiting at the living area, hands deep in his pockets. He looked up when he heard the cluck of her heeled boots, drinking her sight it. She stood before him and gazed, brushing a fallen lock of hair from his eyes. She could sense his nervousness (and she was sure he could sense hers), and so she grabbed him by his neck for a kiss.

She led the act, slightly giving his lips a push. She took his bottom lips, hoping he could feel hers shaking. His hands reached for her hair and her delicate, holding her steady against him.

Pulling away, she took him in a hug.

“I will come home on time,” she promised.

Even with his fears, Kim Shin nodded, letting her walk away.

\--

The clock hit four in the afternoon, and Eun Tak’s car was waiting to cross the intersection.

Inside the car, her hand gripped on the steering wheel tightly. She couldn’t take her eyes off the stoplight, the crossing, the people crossing the pedestrian lane. She kept on looking on both sides of the intersection, waiting for a truck or another vehicle to come thundering down the street. She watched the light shift from red to green, but her feet couldn’t loosen its step on the brakes.

She cupped her face when the first of the sobs came.

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t cross the road. She wanted to. She promised she would come home on time. She would not cross the street and stop in the middle of the road to halt a truck that could potentially crash against the pedestrians. There was no need to sacrifice this time. No one needed saving.

But still she folded upon herself, her feet dead set on the brakes.

On the passenger seat, her phone began ringing. She pressed the answer key hastily.

“Eun Tak-ah.”

Another sob came, one she was certain her husband heard.

“I-I’m s-sorry. I c-couldn’t…I couldn’t m-make the car m-move.”

There was shuffling on the other end of the line. “Summon me,” the voice commanded.

Her hands quickly dug on her pockets, revealing a lighter. She lit it and blew on the fire.

Steady hands pulled on the side brake before taking her in his arms.

When he held her, Eun Tak realized that her husband was crying too.

\--

It was with some maneuvering that they managed to come home. Kim Shin took control of the wheels, while Eun Tak rested on the adjusted passenger seat. He stopped the car in front of the double doors of their home.

Her sobs already quietened. Her trembling body was already still. Her blank eyes remained on him.

“I was so afraid it would happen again,” she confessed with hollowness in her voice.

In an instant, he reached for her, hungry kisses attempting to liven her. He came to her like a raging storm, all the hold he forced on himself breaking. Eun Tak tasted the salt of tears and a tang of blood, and let her own lips serve as balm to his aching ones (and to his aching heart). She remembered that she left him, and her own kisses answered his pleas of coming home to him with apologies of her walking away.

She pulled back, planting her lips against his cheek, his chin, his eyes, his forehead – everything she could reach – interspersed with “I’m here”s. She let him soak on this new promise, now that they’ve overcome the hour of her previous death.

Her husband caught her eye, “It’s not a dream, is it?”

She answered once more, “I’m here.”

With a watery smile as his reply, she knew they would be alright this time around.

 


End file.
